You

....because I want to see your face when I wake up every morning. I want to cuddle inside the blanket with you sleeping by my right hugging me tight. I wish to be able to listen to your heartbeat and your happy singing voice. I want those eyes to look at me with awe each time I dress up to go out with you. I want all those long hour late night calls when we are miles away.... and those silent beach side walks, holding each other’s hands....quite & peaceful... I want a message from you saying “I miss you” for me to type back “I miss you too”. I want to have all those arguments where neither of us agrees to each other yet we somehow agree to a conclusion.

All your small little gestures make me fall for you over and over again. Like when you hold my hand while crossing the road, because you already know that I would be scared... and the way you keep me on the left when we walk down the streets. The way you search for me in the crowd because I get stuck, amused by the window displays of the shops.

I want to gift you things that would make you happy and receive few back from you. I want you to laugh and have fun when we are with friends, assuring that I feel special amongst them too. I want you to feel insecure when I dance in the club and when other eyes are watching me. I want you to get drunk and call me and speak your heart out because I know that you open up only to me.

I want my mom to like you, because I like you. I want my dad to feel safe when I am with you because he trusts you enough. I want you to ask me to cook for you because you really like that special dish that I prepare. I want you to let me mingle with your family. I wish for those long drives on the highways with no destination to go. I want you to say “don’t go” and hold my hand when the power goes off and its dark because you are comfortable showing me your fears. I wish for us to support each other when we go out of money yet have lot of love and blessings to fulfil our needs. I want to fight with you over T.V. serials and you to buy me my favourite ice-cream later for making me angry.

I am 23 right now and I wish to have the rest of my life, however long or short, to be filled with all of these special moments with you and many more. ‘You’ are unknown to me right now or maybe I do know you but am unaware of the love. I know you have your own reasons of not coming out now, may be its not time yet but I have faith in you, that you will not let me be alone for long. I know you will come soon. Because a part inside my heart already dreams of “YOU” 

- Priya H. Rai

Dream

Dream 

Close your eyes to feel the smile

Race your heartbeat to reach the goal

Move your thoughts to mouth the words

Loose the presence to get the attention

Claim your motion to harvest success

Grip the title to create a sentence

I see the view of a future untold

Chase the unseen to foresee the glow

Say you don't know to recreate

Generate love to mind the alleviate

Kneel beneath the sky to breath

Sun might just kiss you with your dream. 

Priya H. Rai

यूँ ही.....

यूँ  ही.....

यूँ ही कुछ केह दिया तुमने

यूँ  ही कुछ सुन लिया हमने 

लफ्ज़ों के मिजाज़ कुछ ऎसे हुए 

की शोर के जैसे दिल में उतरने लगे 

धडकनों कि आहट थम सी गई 

नज़रों ने भी झुकना क़ुबूल किया 

शाम भी मरहूम सी लगने लागि 

महसूस भी बस अब दर्द ही हुआ 

आपको इबादत बनाया था हमने 

आपने तो हस्ती ही बदल दी हमारी 

दिल के दर्मयाँ छुपाया था हमने 

हादें उसी दीवार की तोर दी हमारी 

इक फ़ूल की तरह शादाब होने की ख्वाहिश थी 

अब तस्सवुर में भी ग़म नज़र आता है 

जिंदिगी के इस मोड़ पे अब 

एतबार-ऐ -गुमान ही दीदार हो जाता है 

Priya H. Rai

Moment

I want to say so much

Scream out loud

Yell at the face of the world

I want to jump off the cliff

Dive deep into the sea

Go crazy speed on the road

My heart feels like a hurricane of emotions

Wild as the cyclone of unuttered words

A dark fog of the death-driven winters

Listen to the voices out there,

I feel like shutting my ears

Forced to fake a bright side

Waiting for just a good night sleep

my heart beat runs in this man-made absurd

To reach a destination I cannot see...

Priya H. Rai

I am a girl. I am me.

Yes!

I am the light for the path to be followed.
I am the flowerbed and the flying balloons.
I am the memories of the past and present in the future.
I feel like the cheerful crying tears.
I feel like the winning spirit of a sport.
I am the power to attain and the power to rule.
I am the power of a sweet smile.

The trust of a friend is me.

The mischief of a best friend is me.
I am the belief of a mother's heart.

I am the pride of a father's care.

I am the faith of grandparents.

The love of a man.

I am a happy soul.
I am a happy face.
I am a girl.
I am me.

Priya H. Rai

ECHO

The voices down my head are screaming for the lust
Lust of happiness and cries of joy.

I find myself standing alone in the crowd.
crowded yet alone, standing still

I am here and I am not.
"Visibly invisible" if that could explain.

In the midst of the growling noises
I hear only my heartbeat.

Existence? Of what?

Survival is the only reality i see

Yet again a tomorrow comes

With no air to breathe

Surender! Only option

Running away since long

Figure to hold is blured

Hence, dark is all I see

For more than 'long time ago'

Future seems a long way to go

Stuck in the present 

Off my limits

There is a hand to hold

I see,

It is not for me anymore.

- Priya H. Rai

quote!

"When the lights are set free in the world to expose its reach, I find myself waiting gracefully to welcome its warmth"

- Priya H. Rai

Munasir

 मुस्कराहट की तलाश है

आँसुओं की चादर तले

कदमो की ख़्वाहिश है

मंज़िल हो धड़कनों के शोर तले

कहाँ ले आए ये डगर हमें

ढूंढ न पाओगे ऐ मुनासिर

इस राही को हमसफर न मिले

दर्द ने भी कहा होके काफिर

जश्न-ए -दीदार जहा

गुम हैं हम कही वहाँ

जाम ने हमसे कहा

"इस शाम को मुबारक बनाओ "

हमने ना , पर हमारे दिल ने कह दिया

"खुमार हैं आवारा हम

शिद्दत से दिल्लगी न करवाओ "

- Priya H. Rai

HEART

Its the way you smile when I look at you

Its those words that you listen, which I don't speak

Maybe your twinkling eyes make me blush

Or maybe your voice when you say my name

They say 'never look back!'

But I see you up ahead too!

They say 'behold the heartbreak!'

But I see the mending heart too

and the world moves on

Because my world is you

Love happens only once a lifetime

and my lifetime is you.

- Priya H. Rai

In the empty.

Its only when that thought clicks your mind and you realize that something is not going right. You want to run away and hide but you are stuck in the middle of the dark. Where to go? What to do now? 

Someone help! HELP!!!

Is anyone able to listen to my voice? I do not feel anyone's presence either. 

Then what is holding me so tight and not letting me go? What is that I am so afraid of? Can no one see me? Am I the only one over here? 

I have been running in this void. I don't know how to stop, where to stop. I don't feel any walls here.

There might be a door somewhere maybe? Maybe a ray of light from somewhere to show me the way....

- Priya H. Rai

Ever Again

It is the rain that has stopped but the tears have not.

When I try to remember those happy memories shared with you, tears fall down as if those are the screams of my heart. Every single step that God has planned for me seems to point only towards the direction opposite to you.

I give up today. I give up to God. I give up on hope and I give up on you.

You! ,  have made me this rude, heartless stone-like breathing creature. 

I shall shut myself down to the world today. I shall lock all the doors of my heart and throw away the keys where not even you can find it. Each new memory of you is now a small pin poking my heart with the previous hundreds. 

Yes, I love you and I promise that this feeling will never change but I don't want to see your face  again.... I don't want to hug you again... I don't want to feel your soft lips and hold your hands again. I don't want to see your smile. 

I don't want you ever again.

- Priya H. Rai

Little While

It was a little while

that she had held him tight

afraid to lose the moment at sight

The deep red sky

and the fading sunlight 

planned to stop her for a while

As she kept that smile

on her face

watching the day

getting faded away

- Priya H. Rai